Listen, you have to feel it

I'm sitting here and I really need to process. I feel so much all at once. It's crazy how that's even possible.

Why does it have to be this why? Why am I never good enough? These, among other questions, are the things I want to ask you.

I don't understand. I'm sure that's something so many people feel, but I really, really want to understand.

Don't you know how much I care?

I do. I care so much it makes my entire body hurt because I can't show you how I want to. And I want to so badly!

I hate stepping back from this. I feel like I have no other choice. This isn't who I am. I want to fight, and to try harder, but what will it really do for me?

All I have presently are tears.

I just want you to know, that in the end, no matter what I say, no matter what you say, I still love you.



I always will.