I Have Nothing

Hello Blogger. I miss how much I used to enjoy blogging on here. I'm not sure what happened. I just get sad when I get on here now... Today wasn't so good. I'm learning a lot about myself lately. Things I don't really enjoy learning either. Honestly though, better now than at graduate school I guess. I can't count how many blogs I have on here about how I'm not independent. That's the gist of this post as well. I'm still struggling with this and it only makes life more complicated when I try hard not to be independent when I have to. I hate how rocky some relationships can be. I don't get why it has to be so difficult. Human beings are so flawed. This should be easy. Coexisting shouldn't be as difficult as it is, yet it's almost a daily struggle sometimes. It's especially frustrating when it happens between people I'm close with. If I fight with someone important to me, then I cling to someone who isn't important to me, and that blows up in my face. I guess I'm complaining about others but not addressing my own character building that has to be done. Ugh. It's so hard. All I want is to have consistency in my life. I would give away so much just to have it. Funny how life works some times. I'm done complaining I guess. Whitney Houston "I Have Nothing" Share my life, take me for what I am Cause I'll never change all my colours for you Take my love, I'll never ask for too much Just all that you are and everything that you do I don't really need to look very much further I don't want to have to go where you don't follow I won't hold it back again, this passion inside Can't run from myself There's nowhere to hide (Your love I'll remember forever) Don't make me close one more door I don't wanna hurt anymore Stay in my arms if you dare Or must I imagine you there Don't walk away from me... I have nothing, nothing, nothing If I don't have you, you, you, you. You see through, right to the heart of me You break down my walls with the strength of your love I never knew love like I've known it with you Will a memory survive, one I can hold on to I don't really need to look very much further I don't want to have to go where you don't follow I won't hold it back again, this passion inside Can't run from myself There's nowhere to hide (Your love I'll remember forever) Don't make me close one more door I don't wanna hurt anymore Stay in my arms if you dare Or must I imagine you there Don't walk away from me... I have nothing, nothing, nothing If I don't have you, you, you, you. Don't make me close one more door I don't wanna hurt anymore Stay in my arms if you dare Or must I imagine you there Don't walk away from me Don't walk away from me Don't you dare walk away from me I have nothing, nothing, nothing If I don't have you, you, you, you.

Much Needed Update

Hello Blogger, long time no see.

I kind of don't even know where to start anymore...

Um, well, for starters I got accepted to UCF's Clinical Psychology MA program...FINALLY. This year off has really taken it's toll on me. I'm so glad I'm finally going back to school and I'm that much closer to being able to have my career. I was extremely surprised that I got accepted. I had interviewed at another school, and that hadn't gone too well, but I feel like this time around I really showed my heart at UCF instead of trying to have all of the right answers to their questions. Praise God for getting me there.

That also means apartment hunting, packing, and moving again. Not looking forward to that part. I have no patience for searching online for apartments, so I'm hoping to get down to Daytona soon and make a day of looking at places. I'm excited to be in the program, but I'm not sure how I feel about moving. I really hope I don't get too home sick being two hours away again. I know that seems a short distance, but I'm really attached to my family and friends. I hope I adjust well.

Things have been kind of crappy lately. I've been avoiding blogger because no one ever posted anymore, partially to Liz not having high speed internet, but also because I haven't been feeling happy or physically well for a while. Robbie and I had so many problems recently and we broke up. That was really hard to accept and deal with. I still find it hard to believe given our past, but I know in my heart I tried so hard to make it work, and in the end I wasn't getting out of the relationship what I needed. It's been an adjustment, and a process, but I'm trying to figure out things now.

Dealing with this, and work, and all of my other stuff has me feeling really run down. I've never been so tired in my life as I have been feeling for the past two months. I go to bed super early but it never seems to make a difference. I know I need to trying to change my lifestyle some, but I really think it's something else.

I have more on my mind, but I think I'll stop here for now. More to come soon :)