One more year?

So Amelia told me to get a blog...I'm going to start off with a warning though: This is going to sound very "negative nancy-ish".

So basically I hate Tallahassee. I hate everything about it since I got here. Please refrain from the FSU jokes, because this school is the only thing keeping me here. I love my university, but this city is crap.

I've heard every excuse. "It's the capital, you have to expect poor conditions" Why? Shouldn't a place with such political pull be better off than some run down overpopulated area without a purpose? "We're in an economic depression, crime is on the rise" Really? Well how come in all of my years of leaving stuff in my car in Gainesville I never got robbed? "Crime and vandalism happens everywhere." How come no one feels the need to bash my car mirrors to pieces when I'm in Chiefland? Believe me, more people hate me there than I could make happen in a decade here.

I'm tired of being so scared here. I'm tired of leaving my apartment in broad day light and looking behind me about 10 times just to see who's walking beside me. I'm tired of running to my car in the dark. I'm sick of feeling like I'm stuck in my apartment every time I have free time because I have no one to go with me and make sure I'm alright. "Get pepper spray" I HAVE pepper spray, but let me tell you something about pepper spray. Pepper spray won't do jack diddly when you're carrying a purse, grocery bags, and a 24 pack of soda. Pepper spray doesn't help when you're pumping gas.

"You're just more aware of it because it's happened to you" Maybe so. But why DOES it happen to me? I don't party. I'm not out late. I don't drive an expensive car. I don't take all day when I'm out of my car. I have no enemies here.

I'm sorry if this is dramatic, but do you know how exhausting it is to feel scared all the time?

I can't wait to leave Tallahassee. I want to live in the country for the rest of my life. Hopefully one year and counting.