Alive Again

I feel like Blogger is coming alive again. I like it :)

I got a new phone yesterday. It's the iPhone 4s. I'm still getting used to it. It wasn't a planned decision. It kind of just happened. I needed to branch off onto my own plan and not my mom's. Her is ending in March and she didn't want to renew with Verizon. I feel weird being an iPhone owner now. For some reason I was trying to avoid becoming a part of that group.

I'm hoping it's not taking on too much to start paying my own phone bill. Money has been tight for so long now. I guess we'll see.

Work is really busy lately. I feel like I have so much more responsibility now. Partly because of my promotion, but also because the management trust me more than the last ISC I think. I'm working 40 hours a week and I wish I could work more still.

Apollo gets neutered tomorrow. I'm really not looking forward to it. I hope he comes out alright and I hope he's not mad at me.

I work today 11-8 so I'm off to make some lunch!

Winding Road

I feel like I haven't blogged in forever. It just feels so empty on here now-a-days....


Anyway, today was a good day. I went to visit my dad. He loves seeing Apollo, so he had a great time. I did my usual when I go back home. Ate lunch, ran errands, hung out. It was nice though.

I feel like making a comment that I hope this is a glimpse of what is in store for 2012, but honestly, 2012 looks like a big black hole in my mind (no end-of-the-world pun intended). I just can't see where my future is going at all lately. I keep having this nagging feeling that I'm going to be at Winn-dixie forever. I hate that. I guess I'm nervous for graduate school decisions and where I'll live the next year. It's all just overwhelming when I start thinking about it.

I know I'm being vague, but I just have so many questions in my mind lately...

Santa Was Good To Me

This year was a really good Christmas. Not because of presents or anything like that, but it just felt good. For once all of my family were there with no struggle to get them to come. This was a big deal. It's almost impossible to get my dad to show up around the holidays. He's never feeling good. I think that was the best part. It was nice to all be together. I even brought Apollo.

The kids had a great day. They got tons of cool stuff and liked playing with Apollo. My dad was in a great mood. He loves the dog too. My sister made AMAZING food and my mom loves playing with the kids.

I feel very blessed. That's the best Christmas present I ever could have gotten.

Moving Up

I finally got a promotion at work. I had been trying to get a full time position since I graduated just for job security. I'm guaranteed hours if I'm full time. My search in the psychology field hasn't panned out, but a position finally opened up at Winn-dixie. It's full time and a pay raise. I'm pretty excited. It's still not gaining me any experience for graduate school, but whatever.

I hope this opens other doors for me.

Tires Plus Special

Today had a crappy, but interesting start I suppose. I woke up early to get my oil changed before work. I brought my dog in my purse so he could get some energy out instead of being in the cage while I was gone. We sat in the shop and waiting on my car. No one even really noticed I had him. After a while I got up to check on my car. You can see the bay area through this window they have. I might have been standing ten minutes and I started to feel really sick. I went to go sit back down but they feeling wouldn't go away.

Needless to say, I passed out in the Tires Plus lobby. I know the manager so I'm sure it was quite the shocker to him and his staff. Luckily the lady sitting next to me was paying attention. I didn't get half the warning my body normally give me when that happens. I don't even remember seeing spots or anything. I just woke up slumped over my chair, my dog was falling out of my purse, and the lady next to me was asking me if I was okay. Eventually I was able to tell her I needed something sugary. She brought me two pieces of chocolate. I instantly felt more alert. I'm guess it's because I didn't eat breakfast, but I had only been awake for maybe 30 minutes. My body does a lot of weird things between all the passing out I've done since high school and my heart issues. Who know.

The manager and an employee ended up driving me home. I felt pretty crappy for a while but I still went to work from 11-8. I'm going to bed now, but I figured that out of the ordinary event was blog worthy.

Never Ending Bills

I'm still not feeling like blogging lately :( I've been feeling sad. I'm not working as much because they cut hours at work. So I'm not making as much money. I just applied to four graduate schools and that racked up a huge expense. $120 for application fees, $40 dollars for transcripts, $92 to have my test scores sent, and $25 to send addressed envelopes for my professors to mail my letters of recommendation. Coupled with Christmas presents, I have a huge credit card bill now. It's really depressing.

I applied for another position at Winn-dixie. It's a full time position so I'm really hoping it works out. I need the money really badly. I have to start paying my student loans in April. I think it's going to take me that long just to get my credit card bill down.

Stuff around the apartment feels really tense lately too. I'm stressed out and I feel like I always have so much to clean around it. It's stupid. I hate my apartment complex. I can't wait to move. I don't feel like I'm going to get into any of the graduate schools I applied to either so that would mean another year in Gainesville. I feel so out of my element. I haven't been able to get a job in the psychology field. This year hasn't bettered me at all so I don't see how I'll be even more competitive this time around.

This post is turning out to be really depressing. I'm sitting at home, alone, and bored. The dog is super hyper and I just want to be asleep already. Bleh. I guess I'll go lay down.

Recovering

I've been avoiding my blog :( For many reasons actually. No one is blogging, and like I've mentioned in previous blogs, if no one is blogging, than no one is reading. The main reason I've been on a blog hiatus is because Comet died.

On Thanksgiving, he ran out of my mom's apartment straight into the road. I ran after him, but he got too far ahead of me and he wouldn't listen to come back. He made it across one stretch of road, but on the second part of the traffic a car came and hit him. I was so angry and upset. I feel like the car could have slowed down to a stop quick enough. The car didn't even pull over afterward even though I was in the road running after Comet. Who does that? Who hits someone's dog on Thanksgiving and doesn't even stop to say sorry or offer any kind of condolences? On Thanks-freakin'-giving. It might make me wrong to say this, but I hope Karma found that person.

Comet died instantly. I screamed when the car hit him and I was crying immediately. I couldn't believe this happened right in front of me. I scooped him up out of the road and ran to the side walk. I was so disoriented after that. I hadn't even had my dog for three whole months yet. I couldn't believe he was leaving me already. My sister was right next to me soon after. She told me we could take him to the hospital and see if there was anything they could do. We must have done like 70mph across Gainesville to one of two vets open on holidays. I knew there was nothing they could do, but I was hoping and praying like crazy that I was wrong.

I can't describe to you the emotional and physical pain I experienced over the next week. My entire family was devastated at this loss. Comet has such a special connection with all of us already. He was such a unique dog.

I'm choking up just writing this. I printed all the pictures I had of him and got a special collage frame for our living room. It's like a little memorial to him.


I love you Comet. You changed my life and my heart.