This entire post is going to sound like a contradiction, but I'm beyond tired and I'm not letting myself sleep. I want some 'me time' out of my crazy schedule so I'm staying up online instead of sleeping right now. Big things are happening for me right now. Graduation is only a few months away, and I have a graduate school interview next week. With that being said, I can't help but feel like there are just certain people in my life that I cannot live without. Here's where the contradiction comes in. I know logically, I can, have, and might continue to live with out them, but when I think about losing them, or not having them in this next chapter of my life, I seriously want to say bump this, it's not worth it.
I'm sitting on my couch right now wondering how I'm going to get through these next few months. I wish I could take my two best friends everywhere I go right about now. I would pass up my future, my school plans, my dream job, all of it for them. Hands down. Right now. I'd be completely okay with it. I don't think that's bad either. There are independent people out there, people that put themselves first all the time, people that truck on when no one else is around. I've never pretended to be that person. I'm not independent. I need certain people, certain things to happen.
I guess I'm worried about change. Things are changing, good things are happening, but I'm scared how that will affect my relationships right now. I want you to know how much I care about you, how much you affect my daily life, how much I absolutely appreciate and desire your input and guidance. I might not need you, but I really, really want you to be there with me, always.
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