Panic At Its Finest

I'm really irritated with myself right now. I did some research real quick on some job opportunities in gainesville with a BA in psychology and almost all of the positions listed online at myflorida.com are at this one behavioral clinic. It made me feel a little better to know that there is SOMETHING out there for a bachelors degree applicant, but I know these jobs are going to be more paper work than psychology relevant. The reason I'm angry with myself is because I feel like I'm going to make a poor decision. I feel like I'm basing my life decisions on other people, on where I'll have the most support and it frustrates me. That support isn't always there.

I don't want to move to gainesville and regret it. I can't imagine any more time in Tallahassee. I'm really unhappy here, but the support I thought I had in gainesville is really unreliable. Gosh! This is stupid. I don't want to make a big decision based on something that is really unreliable. This is such a confusing time right now. It's hard to deal with the typical 'roller coaster' of emotions. I've been calm, then sad, then angry, and then scared too many times today. I'm too much of a planner to not have a clue what three months from now will look like.

I thought I could just roll with the punches. Find a cheap apartment, transfer winndixies for income, and hit the REAL job hunt hard as soon as I got situated. It's not that simple though. I don't know if I'll be able to transfer. If I did, what if they don't have hours for me? I don't want to feel alone in this. I'm not saying my family or friends aren't there for me, but that light at the end of the tunnel that made Gainesville okay in my mind just went out.

I really don't know what to do.